Cchicken's Weblog

We flew back east last weekend for a friend’s beautiful wedding.  On the flight back, I realized I had been friends with this crew for 20 years, which gave me pause, and certainly a sense of deep thanks.  I arrived for the wedding already in a state of weepy gratitude and contentment around the whole idea of love.  

The wedding was gorgeous, and served as a reminder to many, I think, of what truly is important in a life.  As the groom continued to shed a few tears over the course of the day, I did as well.  Since returning from the weekend, I keep asking myself-

why do we spend so much time trying to figure out what we are supposed to be doing, when all we need to be ‘doing’ is loving?

no one is going to remember you for things you did but only for the ways you loved.  i think i might need to have that tattooed on my hand so that every time i go to my ’supposed to do’ list, i decide, instead, to send out some love around me.  the world sure needs some more.

Get it?  Ode to Joe, not Ode to Joy.  So clever of me.

So.  I have gotten feedback from people that they enjoy reading my more funny posts.  I thought about my posts that would be considered funny, and I realized they all make fun of one person.  My lovely husband, Joe.  I have made him the punch line of numerous tales throughout my life with him, and he has done the same of me- it’s part of the charm of our relationship, part of what makes us work.  We laugh both at each other, and with each other…a lot.  But.  There is more to us…hence…Ode to Joe.  

I have known Joe for about 8 years, maybe a little longer.  In that time, he has grown to be the most wonderful human being a person could ever hope to be with.

Joey supports me beyond the average ‘unconditional support.’  I can tell him any whim, any idea, any far off dream of mine, and he says “Go for it” and means it.  

He has taught me that life is made up of imperfections, and one need not waste precious time and energy attempting to be someone he or she is not.  

Joey laughs at everything.  Seriously.  The Cosby Show, any Chapelle skit, his own silly jokes, stupid movies, Youtube…he is constantly laughing- and his laugh is contagious.  A person can be around him for just a few minutes and feel the positive effects of laughter.

Joey possesses a sense of compassion many people these days have lost.  He may not always show it on the outside, but he has a deep sense of love and appreciation for most everything that crosses his path.

He will let you know if it is otherwise- he does not find comfort in pretending. 

He has taught me it is ok to disagree with people and still be friends.  

Joey has honest eyes that cannot lie to me, and also serve to allow others into his authentic self.

Joe holds family dear.  He calls his grandmother daily, and he has welcomed my family into his life with open arms.

He lets me cry for no reason, he takes the middle seat when we fly cross country, he tells me when I need to stop being spoiled, he buys me flowers from the market, he pours me a glass of wine and turns on Wynton Marsalis when he gets home from work, he notices when I create some weird art thing and hang it up, he thinks his puppy is adorable, he respects me always.

Everyone else is probably vomiting at this point, but I had to publicly acknowledge another side to my Joey. I’ve barely scratched the surface here, but I think you get the picture.  Joe is a heck of a lot more than the punch line to my jokes, although his lack of common sense does often put himself out there to be mocked. 

Every day I get to open my eyes, and be thankful thankful thankful that my life is filled with a love such as Joe.  (and of course the puppy:)  I get to be reminded numerous times over a day that the only thing in life that really matters is that which is filled with, and spreads love near and far.  

I’m most likely breaking a significant ‘wish making’ rule here, but I’m about to tell you all something I frequently wish for on that first star of the night.  I hope that every person can meet someone and love someone like my husband, and have that love back.  If that were the case, people would have priorities lined up, would be more compassionate, and would help to create a world filled with love, hope, and beauty.  

Now that I have completely embarrassed him and given you all ample time to be nauseous, I’m going to close for today.  Happy trails.

When I first entertained the idea of a blog, I told myself I wouldn’t fill it with political commentary.  I love people who are from the far left all the way to the far right, and it isn’t my goal to preach my beliefs here.  I have to take exception this one time, and it’s not actually meant to be a comment on either side of this election, but rather an observation and a reaction to an issue raised.

Let me begin by explaining that I just read To Kill A Mockingbird for the first time in a long time.  When I reached the part where Tom Robinson goes to jail on a guilty verdict, when he is clearly not guilty, I felt that sickness in my stomach all over again.  I read Jem’s response to a question his sister, Scout posed.  ”If there’s just one kind of folks, why can’t they get along with each other?  If they’re all alike, why do they go out of their way to despise each other?”

I began to wonder what kind of person I would have been in those times; during Hitler’s occupation of Europe and segregation in United States.  I would like to think that I would have been the German citizen secretly feeding a prisoner, or hiding them for that matter.  I would like to think I would have been brave, stuck to my truth, and not gotten swept into the mob mentality.  

Suddenly I realized with disgust that I still have the opportunity to speak out against injustice in our own society.  It’s not all gone.  

When I first saw the footage of a particular rally (before this all got so publicized and criticized by mainstream media) I was shocked.  I heard a woman stand up and tell Senator McCain that she couldn’t vote for Senator Obama because he was “an Arab.”  At first, it seemed McCain was going to give a positive answer, but quickly it turned for me.  ”No,” he said.  ”He’s a good family man.”  What?  Implicitly, he just told this entire group of people that an Arab and a good family man aren’t the same thing.

Now, I don’t think McCain intended to do this.  I don’t even want to think he believes that deep inside himself and it slipped out.  I think it is just a snapshot of the kinds of prejudices that still form the constructs of our own “modern” society. I am sure many people think I’m making too big a deal out of an innocent response.  The fact, however, that this discourse even occurred speaks to the fact that ignorance is still abundant.  

Prejudice stems from ignorance, and ignorance feeds off fear. Unfortunately, many people fall into believing the fear, and build a wall dividing “us” and “them.”  The truth is, not all Arabs are Islamic extremists who want to kill you.  Each of us could have easily been born Arab or a member of the Islamic faith.  But we weren’t.  That doesn’t give us the right to make judgments about them.

Throughout the story, Atticus Finch tells his children to ‘walk in the shoes’ of the other people.  He wants them to understand where other people are coming from.  For a chance to walk in the shoes of some Arabs who also happen to be good family men, read Three Cups of Tea by Greg Mortenson and David Oliver Relin.  The word Arab might not seem so scary with a little compassion.

My aim as an educator is to teach compassion and understanding.  I am passionate in this endeavor.  If the next generation grows up learning to find commonalities and accept differences, perhaps then it won’t be acceptable for a presidental candidate to make an off the cuff remark that continues to breed ignorance.

Ok.  Now I feel like I have done my civic duty.  Have a lovely weekend.  Be looking for my next post, entitled, “Ode to Joe.”

7:1.  An interesting ratio.  I ran across this number while reviewing an education book.  Any guesses as to what the numbers stand for?

7- the number of compliments it takes to balance out the negative feelings from 1 critical comment.  This fact is given out to incoming teachers, as a way of helping teachers to understand how important it is to compliment students often.  Furthermore, teachers need to make sure they compliment a specific action, as opposed to the rather meaningless, but common, “good job.”

I don’t think we grow out of the need to hear more positive than negative.  For the most part, humans are more likely to believe the negative they hear than to embrace the positive.  7:1.  Maybe we can try to fill our friends and acquaintances with the 7 compliments they need.  Maybe we can tell ourselves a few more compliments, release the negative, and allow the positive to remain within.

ironically, i was planning on writing about the importance of choosing quality, animal friendly meat and dairy products today, and then just flipped on the television to find Oprah beat me to it.  i’ll come back to my points on this issue another day, i guess, as Oprah did my job for me today.  

in short, i’m hoping that more americans begin to realize that the meat we choose to buy impacts the way farmers grow and produce their food.  animals deserve to eat real food, not their own poop, and humans deserve to eat animals who haven’t eaten their own poop.  animals deserve to have a life separate from being raised for consumption.  i’m not totally opposed to eating meat in itself; it’s the manner in which so much of our country’s meat is raised and slaughtered.  it grosses me out completely, and i hope more people begin to learn the truth about where the majority of meat comes from.  that way, perhaps, more people will choose to buy, and thus endorse, farming that does not hurt the animals, the environment, and therefore the people.

for more information, i highly recommend reading Barbara Kingsolver’s Animal, Vegetable, Miracle or Michael Pollan’s The Omnivore’s Dilemna and In Defense of Food.  while filled with fascinating information, they are also just good reads, and Animal, Vegetable, Miracle also offers some fabulous recipes.

i guess, also, one could check out www.Oprah.com, although i haven’t checked it out myself.

Joe, Jersey and I spent a peaceful weekend surrounded by lush evergreen trees and the scent of cedar.  The night was so silent we could hear the moonshine, and the air so crispy clean it was palatable.  I came away from the few days feeling rejuvenated, relaxed, and connected to all that is.  How lucky we are, to live in a place where nature excursions are quick, easy to find, and never disappointing.  We ate delicious meals, all created from local ingredients.  I don’t think there is a better meal than one that begins locally, infused with spices, love and time, and then enjoyed with family and friends.  Such a meal serves to nourish more than just the taste buds; it reminds us that people once spent time cultivating their meals, and took the time to enjoy them as well.  Dinner wasn’t always served in a microwavable box, and pumpkin didn’t always come in a can.  More on that another time though; that isn’t meant to be the focus of this post!

The point of this piece is to send out my wish that everyone have the chance to be part of such a place in nature.  I realize I’m a bit on the fanatical side when it comes to recycling and making my food choices, as I do truly believe that the more one person can do, the more our crumbling environment can be helped.  I think, however, that when people have the chance to interact with the natural world in a connected way, they will be more apt to pay attention to their own actions, and make choices sustainable for all species on the planet.  Thus, why it is imperative for everyone to go out an enjoy some nature.  I live in a place where conserving is the norm; where most people do feel some sort of connection to their nature.  I was living in that ignorant bliss for a little while when…

I met a man in New Orleans a few weeks ago who angered me profusely.  My friends can attest to the fact that I hardly ever get mad.  It takes quite a bit to make me angry, but I was bordering on the point of livid.  This man, about my age, was from Baton Rouge.  He was careful to make sure I understood that he was very wealthy, and very well educated.  He then went on to explain that he didn’t recycle anything whatsoever, because in his town, he has to apply for the recycling bin.  That’s it.  That was his reason.  He doesn’t have to pay extra for it.  He doesn’t have to drive anywhere to deposit it.  He doesn’t even have to sort it.  He has to apply for a bin to stick in the driveway.  And he doesn’t feel like it.

As I told him, his laziness is taking natural resources away from my great grandchildren.  I told him that when my grandchildren don’t have any clean water I would be sure to thank him.  He told me that I shouldn’t be such an anal bitch and I should “live a little.”  For me, however, ‘living’ well means staying grounded in the peacefulness of nature.  It means making conscious decisions that help me to remain connected to all the gifts available to us everyday.  I guess some things would be easier of I could pretend like I didn’t know that all garbage goes to sit in the ground, or in the ocean, and really doesn’t lose mass.  But, I don’t think I would be fulfilled.

My greatest fear is that my grandchildren will never have the chance to stand under a huge tree, look up, and search out the bald eagle nesting on top.  Every time I have the opportunity to realize how incredible untouched space is, I pray my children will know it too.  You, dear readers, may find I return to this topic frequently.  It is certainly one of my endeavors in life to see that word gets out that our human species is not actually above any other species, but rather a part of the whole. 

So please, after you read this, go outside and find a patch of grass.  Put your bare feet in it, close your eyes, and smell the air.  If you have children, make them do it with you.  Ease my anger left over from Baton Rouge man.  Remind yourself that you are part of the ground you are standing on, and apply for your recycling bin.  I thank you, the bald eagle thanks you, and my great great grandchildren thank you.  

If you don’t recycle, please lie to me and tell me you do.

“In Every Deliberation We Must Consider 

The Impact of Our Decisions On The  

Next Seven Generations.” 

- Great Law of the Six Nations of the Iroquois –